Sunday, January 22, 2012

The First Grade- Santa Claus

 
When I was in the first grade, I suffered from severe attacks of asthma.  I probably weighed 60 pounds soaking wet. I had to get a shot every week and was in and out of the hospital under oxygen tents. I was bullied a lot by a few jerk classmates about being so skinny. But by some cruel fate I was picked as the Santa Claus for the Christmas play in front of the whole grammar school. My mother came up on the stage before the play started and unzipped my pants and let them fall to the floor. She then proceeded to transform me from an anemic Santa by stuffing the pants with a pillow. She could have pulled me behind the curtains as the bleachers were already full of cackling students. Mama is dead now and I am fat. I never forgave her.

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