The Spider Monkey

I inherited a spider monkey the summer I moved to the city. I took it on trade from a couple who could not repay a loan. They also threw in the cage. In retrospect,  they got the good end of the deal.  Gretchen was her name and she was a very social monkey. She loved coming in the house and laying in the lap of whoever was watching tv. She would then hope you would rub her belly as her long skinny arms and legs dangled off your lap. I kept her cage at the back of my parents yard. She learned to climb the shrubbery and go to the top of the roof. Then she would run and dive on top of the shrubbery and ride it to the ground. Gretchen loved showing off. At the end of the summer I moved on campus at USC and did not get to spend as much time with her. The first weekend I did go home, she acted as if she was mad for leaving her. She nipped at me and then ran over to the yard of the old lady next door. She had been over there once before and I was warned to keep my monkey out of her yard. This time Gretchen climbed the tallest pine tree in her front yard and would not come down. I tried using bananas to coax her to come down but it was to no avail.  Finally I gave up and went back over to my parents. It was not long before the front door bell rang. A Forest Acres police officer was standing on the front porch. He asked for my identification. Then he put his hand on his revolver and told me that if I could not get my monkey down, that he could. I had to run down to the Piggly Wiggly at the bottom of the hill and buy some peanuts. The officer waited for me to come back and Gretchen took the bait. I still wonder if that officer would have shot her. Mama told me it was time for the monkey to go.

My soon to be wife felt that Gretchen would fare better on her family farm. We were able to leave the door open to her cage. She loved chasing the hogs and petting the cats. She would ride on top of her Dads hunting dogs heads while holding on to their ears.

The real problem started when Gretchin learned to open the screen door going into the house by herself. She would let herself  in and eat any food left on the counter or table. One weekend my wife's brother  and I were sharing birthday celebrations. We left a nice freshly baked birthday cake on the counter while we all went for a ride around the farm. On top of the cake it read "Happy Birthday - Mark and John".  While we were gone, Gretchen pulled open the unlatched screen door and got in the house. When we returned the letters on the cake spelled, "Hap    irt day   ark and Jo".

The icing on the cake happened when we brought our first son on his first trip to the farm at two weeks old.  He was sleeping in a carrier on the kitchen table while my wife and mother-in-law were talking in the kitchen. Gretchen quietly opened the door, jumped on the table, and began pulling the baby carrier.  It was teetering on the table edge when my wife grabbed it.  My mother-in-law told me it was time for the monkey to go. It was not long before Gretchen was again inherited. This time by a well driller.