Waited Too Late

  I had about thirty  students in my third grade class. We sat in this old metal desk in rows of six with five students in a row.There were no bathrooms in the classrooms as they were located down these long hallways. I took a pill every day to help control my wheezing from asthma. Whenever you had to relieve yourself, all you had to do was raise your hand. Still suffering from trauma from the Santa debacle, I hated standing out and would not raise my hand. The next thing i knew it was running down at the side of the desk and puddling in  the aisle. I just sat there until a bully across the aisle noticed and pointed and got the whole class laughing at me. It was then that i bolted out of the class and out of the school. Then I proceeded to run all the way home which was only a block away. I wanted to drop out of school.

The First Grade- Santa Claus

 
When I was in the first grade, I suffered from severe attacks of asthma.  I probably weighed 60 pounds soaking wet. I had to get a shot every week and was in and out of the hospital under oxygen tents. I was bullied a lot by a few jerk classmates about being so skinny. But by some cruel fate I was picked as the Santa Claus for the Christmas play in front of the whole grammar school. My mother came up on the stage before the play started and unzipped my pants and let them fall to the floor. She then proceeded to transform me from an anemic Santa by stuffing the pants with a pillow. She could have pulled me behind the curtains as the bleachers were already full of cackling students. Mama is dead now and I am fat. I never forgave her.

Birth Of Mayhem Sanders

I have been married to my high school sweetheart for the past thirty eight years. Last year we were attending a coworker of my wife's wedding at the Lace House at the Governors Mansion.  I was actually chauffeuring the newlyweds from the reception to the Hilton in my 1953 Bentley R type. While I was meandering through the food tables, a coworker of my wife whom I had never met, came up to me and asked, "Are you Mayhem Sanders?" I never knew that my wife of 38 years was relaying to others a lot of the Mr. bean fiascoes and antics which have happened to me since grade one. These mayhem episodes have continued and festered through midlife. I decided, now that I am a baby doomer, to share different episodes through my blog site. Some of these are funny and some are stupid and some are sad but they are all real mayhem.