Momma's Christmas Present

It is hard  to imagine but my best and worst Christmas days were rolled into one. My oldest sister had asked for a Barbie doll and my youngest wanted a Chatty Kathy. My brother wanted a record player and I  had a 410 shotgun on my wish list. Mama and Daddy would just surprise each other. Everyone had their spot picked out for santa to leave their gifts. Daddy brought in this huge gift wrapped box for mama  earlier in the week. We could tell he had wrapped it himself but he had tried and we were so proud of him. On Christmas morn my brother and sisters sneaked to the living room to see if our requests had been granted. Sure enough we all got what we wanted. Soon Mama and Daddy joined us to exchange their gifts. Mama gave Daddy a real nice new suit. Daddy taught sunday school and one of his obnoxious students poured glue in his chair. He sat in it and ruined his old one. He really needed it. Then we waited with baited breath while Mama opened  her big present from Daddy. Our mouths dropped as she ripped the paper from her box. Mama began to cry and we could not believe that Daddy had given her a 55 gallon trash can. Way to go Dad. I loved my new shotgun but remember wondering if my first target should have been a squirrel.

My Biggest Fishing Catch

A doctor in the small town where I grew up had a killer fishing pond. Me and my buddies would get permission and after school we would have a field day using rubber worms with a weedless hook.I would always use a Zebco push button reel as I would backlash or bird nest open face reels. Sometimes I would take along my flyrod and reel. I would wax the line and see how far I could throw a popping bug. One Saturday morning me and a buddy of mine arrived at the pond at daybreak. We decided to fish off the bank and not use the boat. My buddy started fishing on one side and me on the other. I was using the fly rod and was casting with all my might to get it as far off the bank as I could. I did not see my buddy, who had moved to my side of the pond, coming up behind me. It was when I made my forward cast that I heard him holler. When I turned around I thought at first I had hooked him in the eye. I dropped my rod in horror and ran over to him. Blood was pouring from the  the popping bug which was embedded in his eyelid. I cut the flyline and we rushed to the door of the doctor who lived behind the pond. It was still very early in the morning as we feverishly beat on the door. We finally woke everyone in the house. I  remember everyone watching as he cut the barb on the hook and backed it out of the eyelid. My buddy learned a valuable lesson. Never walk behind someone casting a flyrod. I think that was our last fishing trip together.

The County Fair

One of the highlights each year was going to to the county fair. Daddy would take off early on a Thursday and was home whenever we arrived from school that day. My brother, my two sisters, along with Mama and Daddy piled in the car and headed the eighteen miles to the county fair. This year was especially important to Mama as my brother had entered one of his paintings in the scholastic art contest. I did not think it was that great, just a wooden bowl with some fruit in it. Mama thought he was another Monet. When we arrived at the fair everyone was so excited with the sights of all the rides and the aroma of fair foods permeating the air. The deal was that we had to all go as a family to the art exhibit hall to see how my brothers painting did in the show and if he won a ribbon.

Daddy as usual walked a mile ahead of all of us. When we arrived at the exhibit hall we found Daddy standing in front of my brothers painting and pointing at a blue ribbon. We were all so jubilant. It was then that a security guard came up and tapped my Dad on the shoulder. He told my Dad he saw him pull that blue ribbon off someone else's painting and that he could be charged with stealing. That was all we saw of the fair that year. We all headed back to the car with my Mom crying and yelling and screaming at my Dad. She said he was a jackass and other nouns we had never heard of. I remember looking out the rear car window as we exited the fair parking lot. It was udder  devastation and the longest eighteen mile ride in my life. Way to go Dad.

Tragedy At The Underground Fort

Across from my house was a vacant lot we loved to play on. One weekend me and four of my buddies started digging a deep hole which we would later cover with a sheet of plywood. We left an opening so we could crawl down into the hole thus having our underground fort. One week it rained for several days in a row. When it finally stopped raining we returned to our fort. Much to our dismay we arrived to find that our fort was full of water. One of my buddies picked up an empty paint can and filled it full of muddy water from the fort hole. Then he poured it over my head thus soaking me. This kids mom was my fifth grade teacher. I picked up the rusty detached paint lid and threw it at my teachers son like a frisbee. It split the side of his head wide open and was bleeding profusely. He staggered to the nearest friends house and was rushed to the hospital. It took something like sixty four stitches to close the wound and the Doctor said if I had hit over another quarter of an inch that it would have killed him. Again I wanted to quit school especially since his mom taught me. I was forced back to school and his mom forgave me. I vividly remember several days later her son returning to school and getting out of the car. His  whole head was bandaged like a mummy except for mouth and eye holes. Naturally everyone wanted to know what  happened to him. I heard my name a lot that day and was very remorseful and sorry for what I had done. Glad he finally healed and fully recovered but bet he still has scars. If there could be a good side I do not ever remember the skinny kid being bullied again. Some actually moved to the other side of the hall.